Vedangi Kulkarni Transcript

Rhona: Welcome to episode nine of the Rest Days Community podcast. This week we hear from Bud Kani. She has cycled around the world, not once, but twice. With the first time being at age 19, she's balanced this alongside Arctic Adventures riding work, creating events, riding her bike for fun and enjoying her twenties.

We delve into what it means to be an athlete, how our perceptions of ourselves can be so different to how others see us. We talk about where her love for adventure and drive for all of this comes from. We have a candid conversation about where the line lies between pushing ourselves and risking our health.

There is no right or wrong to many of the things we discuss, and I hope this podcast sparks interesting conversation or new ways of seeing things, but it is not here to tell anybody how they should be living their lives because we are all just working that out as we go. Through inspirational and aspirational stories, gue makes following your dreams seem simple.

Her beautiful outlook on life will warm you. I hope you enjoy her story.

 Hello. Vee or Vedangi or as I've just learned now vedu, welcome to the Rest days podcast. 

Vedangi: Thank you for having me

Rhona: I am so, so glad to have you. It's been a long time coming.

Vedangi: I'm just glad to be here. Yeah. And having a nice cup of tea. 

Rhona: Great. I will warn all the listeners, we do have a 13 week year old puppy in the recording with us, so you may hear some puppy related sounds occasionally, but you know, we've got to do what we've got to do to be able to get this done. Um, okay, Vee, so I wanna go all the way back to the beginning.

I'm gonna go through your life, how you ended up with the crazy balance you have between work and play. Um, and where all of that came from. So tell me all the way back to the beginning, what were you like as a kid? Were you a really driven kid? Were you a sporty kid? What, what were you like?

I think 

Vedangi: as a kid, I was the random kid that just does stuff. So, for example, in my school, I remember, every few years there used to be this event where people did random things like walking on stilts for example.

Or, someone riding a bike and you are the person sitting on their shoulders or standing behind the bike and doing stunts. And I remember very clearly I was 10 years old and I volunteered to be a part of this even when my age group wasn't meant to be involved in it. So I used to be that kid that just did things and.

It was, it was. Um, and there was another one where you went to the top of the building and I'd never rapelled before anything. And that was my first time learning how to do it. Um, and then also, uh, doing valley crossing and things, but without, without ropes, but, you know, across school building, that sort of thing.

What, it was one of those things where I didn't need to be a part of a big group. I didn't need to be, I didn't need to feel that level of belonging at all. I just needed to go and do something. And, um, that, that's what I was as a kid. But then I started playing football because it became the thing, it became the sport where, I, I enjoyed the whole idea of.

Goalkeeping and I really enjoyed diving for the ball or, um, the idea of defense was really fun for me, and the focus it took. I really enjoyed it. And I always think that the reason I got into football, I got into Goalkeeping particularly, was because I wasn't scared of getting hurt.

Mm. Which is something I have to remind myself now when 

Rhona: that's definitely how your ride a mountain bike. Now I'm sometimes terrified for you because you're so brave. 

Vedangi: Well, you say that, but I have to remind this to myself when I'm trying a new feature on a mountain bike that there was once a time where you were a goalkeeper purely because you weren't scared of getting hurt and, you thought that was a bit edgy or whatever.

Anyway, the whole lack of belongingness was what, um, brought me into the world of sport. Hated running or anything running related. Another reason I was a goalkeeper, but it was probably like. You know, when you don't think you're good at something and then you just fall into that sport, you just fall into that and you think that will bring you that belongingness or sense of self.

And whether or not it does, doesn't matter. You just get into it. So that's how I got into football. And there was a team called Pune, a FC, and they just like you, used to be a big team for men's team. And then they started a women's team, and then I became a part of it. But I was in like my 11th and 12th grade, so I was 16, 17 years old.

And the college I went to didn't have a football team. So I got the girls together, made a team and made them do the district leagues and things like that. We lost probably every single match, but it was so fun because all these people who had never even thought of football before and then they were interested and they were playing and you know, I, I, I got friends involved

when I then went on to play for bigger team and stuff, it didn't matter if I was good or not. Suddenly it was like, whatever it is, I'll just fit right in. I'll just figure it out. And even if I'm bad, who cares? I'll figure it out. And so that became my relationship with football and sport in general.

That it doesn't matter if I'm bad at it, as long as I'm doing it, , and effort became that metric of, success in a way. If I was given effort, if I was having the worst period of my life and I was still there at a match that, you know, that I was kind of feeling miserable, but I showed up, then I was proud of myself and suddenly what other people thought didn't it didn't matter so 

Rhona: much to unpack there.

Okay. I love, I love that there's so many, so many great things there. Okay, so the first one, I mean, a big theme of this podcast has been that people want community and belonging. But I think what you are saying is that. You had the belonging just from doing the thing. It didn't have to be a team sport or you didn't have to be, for example, you wanted to, you were, you were the goalie.

And maybe that's a slightly, it's still part of the team, but it's not as, you're not on the pitch running around with the people. Yeah, yeah, 

Vedangi: yeah. That was a thing. I think what didn't work for me as a goalkeeper was the fact that I didn't have the confidence to be commanding. Mm-hmm.

Uh, I tried, I could pretend to be that person, but I honestly believe that when you pretend it shows Yeah. When you are it, it's different. That was one of the things that I noticed with being a goalkeeper. Um, but yeah, definitely more into actually doing things than. Like, I don't think I've ever done anything with a proper linear step-by-step way.

It's always been jump into the deep end, just do it. And you'll learn along the way. You'll probably find the belonging along the way. If not, you'll just be happy that you did it because you actually did something, but without waiting for someone else to say yes to it. If that makes sense. 

Rhona: Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I love that mindset. I think it's super inspiring and definitely for people who might be not sure about taking a step and getting into something, it's great. But what do you think made you brave enough to be like that? Why do you think, was it just doing it, doing something once?

Trying something once and then being like, oh, you can just do. Or was it that you think this was an inbuilt thing in you? Uh. I don't know 

Vedangi: if it was inbuilt, but I do remember this one time I went for a camp. I think I was 14, 15 or something. I went for this outdoorsy camp in northern India and did some white water rafting and things like that.

And at the time I didn't know that a part of this whole thing was bungee jumping. And I hadn't quite told my parents that I would go and do it, but then I got the money from one way or another to make sure that I had the money to pay to be able to do it. And I remember I came back from it and I just showed my parents the video of me bungee jumping.

And I also remember being there, and I didn't want to see anyone else do it because then I would figure out whether it was good or not, whether it was scary or not. And then I was like, if I find out it's scary, then what if I don't want to do it anymore? 

Rhona: And 

Vedangi: I think. I found out when I did that bungee jump and I was like, i'm really scared. I found a way to deal with it by knowing that no one else was doing it before me, if that makes sense. Yeah. And I was really scared and I found myself to be on that edge and still jump off that edge and be okay with it. Then the reaction I had from my parents when they saw that video, I was like, and my dad still quotes it.

He was like, you're the girl that just went and bungee jumped without knowing what it was. And you know that like you didn't know if the rope was fine, you didn't know what it was, and you just went and did it. So you can probably do anything. And, and even now when I'm fussing over something a lot, he tells me that.

So I think that's where that kind of comes from. I maybe got that little bit of validation by being. A little bit brave about something and now I'm like, maybe I can do anything, you know? 

Rhona: Yeah, yeah. That, that makes sense. You've talked to me a little bit about your dad as well and that he's a really supporting influence for this stuff.

Um, I mean, the fact that when you went back and showed him that he'd been bungee jumping, he was like, wow, that's really cool. You're really brave, you know, and wasn't like, what the hell have you done? 

Vedangi: No. He just found it quite funny that something that he created could do something like that. and he was like, so what is this bungee jumping? Like, what, how does it work? Like what, what is this rope? Um, and yeah. Yeah, it was great. 

Rhona: So were your parents sporty? Did they do anything like that? 

Vedangi: God, absolutely not. My parents are as far away from sporty as one can go.

My dad did trekking in his time. My mom did like NCC. National cadet corps I think it's called. Okay. Um, and it's like a, not an army wing, but kind of, you know, it can lead up to being that at some point. Um, so my mom did that and, um, both of them have found it extremely hard in their lives to be sporty in any way.

Mm. Um, and that wasn't like, you know, every aptitude test I've ever done has said that the last thing I should be is an athlete. Um, and you, and yet here we are. Well, here we are. But again, I wouldn't say I'm an athlete. I just like to try things and I just like to, effort is the thing. I like putting in the effort.

That's me. But I guess it 

Rhona: depends on what your definition of athlete is. 'cause as an athlete, I guess some people maybe would say it's being the best at something. But you, I would say maybe being an athlete is just, it's just the doing of the activity and dedicating the time and having the passion for it.

Vedangi: Yeah. Yeah. That is a good way of seeing an athlete. I, my definition of athlete is someone who wants to do a certain sport well enough to want to put in the hard work that goes with it, the sacrifices that go with it. 

Rhona: Yeah. 

Vedangi: And I think when I was training for the round the world, the more recent one, um, I think that's when I was an athlete, I would say, because I did, you know, there were sacrifices.

There was a lot of, there was a lot of effort. Yeah. And I cherished that effort. It made me feel so good about myself every time I put in that effort. So I think I was an athlete when I did that, but I never see that as a continuation. I always see that as a momentary thing in that moment. I was an athlete, you know, in that moment, for example.

Um. I used Wahoo system. So the Sufferfest workouts as a part of it. Okay. And I remember there's this workout called kitchen sink in there. It's a three hour workout, including a little bit of everything. It has the neuromuscular side, it has the threshold stuff, and it has like basically every single zone that you can hit, you do hit in that workout.

There's very little recovery. And for three hours, it's very full on. And I remember there are parts of that workout where I would be like. I think this is what death feels like. And when I first tried it, I couldn't go through the whole three hours. And I remember every time I got to the end of that workout, I was insanely proud of myself. And I think in that moment I would feel like an athlete. Yeah. And it's always been that momentary thing when I push really hard on a local mountain bike climb on a normal bike, I'm. I felt quite athletic today.

You know, I don't have to kind of be at a race performing really well for that, but it's, it can be just 

Rhona: you and yourself and your relationship with your body. So then 

Vedangi: that's why right now when I'm feeling a bit meh in terms of sports, I do feel a little bit burnt out and a little bit lacking that sense of self and that sense of belonging.

Mm. So right now the last thing I'm feeling like is an athlete. 

Rhona: Yeah. Yeah. 

Vedangi: And it's quite interesting how that works. Um, but yeah. 

Rhona: Yeah. So interesting. What do you think, so obviously when you push yourself and you achieve and then you feel amazing, uh, what has that taught you about yourself and what did that mean for the rest of your life?

I 

Vedangi: think the sense of achievement has taught me how much I like to put in the effort. Yeah. And that's taught me that. When I'm in the thick of things and feeling like I have been maybe this month, uh, you know, that lack of sense of self and lack of whatever, um, that's teaching me that there's a way out, this is probably the hard bit of the work.

Mm-hmm. Workout and I'll feel better. It will get better, and it's not the end of the world. I think everything that I've ever done, the one thing that's taught me is, is that nothing is the end of the world because I don't know if this is a cultural thing or a meeting or a family thing, but where I come from, everything is catastrophized to such an extent.

If you get a little bit hurt, it's blown up quite a bit. Mm. And everything is really, extreme, what everything has taught me. Those moments of self, a sense of achievement or whatever is that it's not like, you know, it, it's good right now. Yeah.

Maybe that won't last, but also if it's bad right now, that's not gonna last and that, you know, you can have that, you can, the balance will come. 

Rhona: Yeah. 

Vedangi: Yeah. 

Rhona: I guess, a lot of endurance athletes talk about that, that concept, within the activities they do, they have to tell themselves that.

But it is really good metaphor for life because that is the exactly in, in life. You know, there's phases and all the bad ones will end, and all the good ones will end. Mm-hmm. But as long as you keep plodding, it'll be okay. 

Vedangi: Yeah. Yeah. The, i, I think even with the emotional ups and downs 

Rhona: mm-hmm.

Vedangi: If there is at least a part of you that knows that. Okay. This is not the end of the world. I think that goes a long way. 

Rhona: Yeah, for sure. You're a very all go person. When did you first start to become aware of rest? I guess first probably when you were playing football a high level, maybe you became aware of rest as a part of training, like a, a core part of training, but then there's also the rest sometimes that you need in the bigger picture of just looking after yourself.

When what, do you remember becoming aware of that in your life?

Vedangi: Yeah. I think I'm getting better at it as I'm getting older because there was definitely like even, uh, in the first round of the world I was so young, I didn't think of it in quite this way back then, but. I remember every time I wasn't riding my bike or something hurt, or I didn't feel okay, I was almost like, no, no, no, you can't think that because then we are never going to achieve this goal.

If you even rest a little bit, then that looks bad on you. It was almost that thing, you know, if you rest more, it looks bad on you. Mm-hmm. If you look after yourself more and it was like, um, at the time I saw endurance cycling as a sport where you had to be that person who hated rest.

If you just loved to keep going and if you hate rest, then you're a good endurance athlete. That was such, so unhealthy. Yeah. That was so unhealthy and I can't believe I went through my entire early twenties thinking that way. 

Rhona: But isn't that say a lot about the ima one, the image of the sport. That that's what, because I think I, I agree.

I I've thought that about the sport of endurance cycling that, that people are presenting or glamorizing this idea of, if you rest you're weak or you have to keep going . 'cause no successful athlete out there isn't resting.

Vedangi: I know, and I find this quite interesting because, I follow Kate Courtney on uh, Instagram and she's quite good at portraying how much she eats, how much she rests, how much she works out. Yeah. And you know, the strength training, the casual rides, the, the rides where she doesn't use a gar, use a Garmin or whatever.

Yeah. And the times when she's actually using all the recovery equipment that, um, that elite athletes use. And I think. Those examples are so necessary. I don't know if this is like a very ultra cycling issue, the whole rest equals bad thing because obviously with races and stuff, you know, you're not sleeping as much and that's almost kinda like, oh my God, she did that thing and she only slept four hours.

Yes. Yeah. And that, I'm not gonna use the word glamorized because that's the opposite of glamor. Mm. But it's almost seen as something to aspire to be like, sleep as little as possible. That's the only way to be. And I, I don't know. Um, I'm getting around to the, to, to, to thinking a bit like actually your happiness and is so much higher when you, when, when the rest you are having is effective rest.

So I noticed this, um, something I tried with my second round the world on the really good days I had. I noticed that I had had maybe even six hours of sleep, but it was so good that, my phone was in airplane mode, for example, I always find mental rest so much more than physical rest because physical rest I can find in like anything.

But the mental rest I find really hard because my mind is super active. I do have a ADHD, , but that's got nothing to do with this maybe, but I find my mind to be so. Active with a lot of negative things that I'm working to make positive, if that makes sense. And that, that, that keeps it so active all the time.

Mm-hmm. I never find that being restful in any way. And so when I found ways to make that, to quieten that part of me I can actually bring my talk myself into not caring what other people think I can talk myself into, I can be that person who's my own safe space

And when I find myself in that zone is where I can actually switch off when I can actually, do that thing where I just put my phone slash my life on airplane mode I think that's restful. That's good. Rest. 

Rhona: Yeah. That's actually such a interesting way to put it because I think we are always thinking about something else and um, or someone 

Vedangi: else. 

Rhona: Yeah. Or someone else. I think that's the thing. Yeah. And it's really easy in your head to say, oh, if I'm just thinking about myself, is that being selfish.

But actually it's not. You really have to sometimes take a second to check in with yourself, and that's not selfish because you don't look after yourself. You can't look after anybody else. 

Vedangi: Yeah. Yeah. And that's one of the things when I'm feeling really messed up in my head when I'm in the low lows, and even if I go on a solo ride listening to cringey music and allow myself to just talk to myself and only think about myself.

It's an active thing of resting. Mm-hmm. It's my active recovery, but it's only recovery because I'm thinking of myself. Otherwise it's a bike ride.

Rhona: I was thinking as well about something else you said there about these, the sort of extreme endurance sports and as a doctor, I think about this quite a lot.

I feel really conflicted. A, as a doctor and a person interested in doing endurance sports, I feel conflicted. 'cause part of me is like because people do things where they don't sleep for many days and they just cycle. It makes you kind of feel like you should be able to do that if you don't do that, have you tested yourself as much as you can? Um, but then I also find it really interesting and there isn't data to support this, but I hope that, and, and I don't know if there ever would be because it's so niche. I dunno if you could ever gather it, but I'd be really interested to find out what the long-term health outcomes are for people who do sports like that.

I mean, I'm confident that they are not good and that you are probably putting yourself at risk of quite a lot of stuff. Definitely that level of sleep deprivation and exhaustion, just based on the data we have about sleep, probably predisposes you to things like dementia and takes time off your life.

And we do know that, really good athletes, especially of a certain generation, sort of in the eighties and nineties, um, seventies, are now having problems with their hearts. And there is specific types of training that we know were more at risk for that. And so I find it interesting 'cause we obviously really judge and go, well you shouldn't smoke and don't drink because those things are really bad for you.

And if, and we and athletes look down on people who, smoke and drink. 'cause those are the things that we're like, oh well, unhealthy lifestyle choices. But actually we're glamorizing being an ultra athlete. But is that also just an unhealthy lifestyle choice?

Yeah. But 

Vedangi: isn't it like. If it's less than two weeks, the event that requires you to not sleep enough, how is that gonna cause super long term thing? Yes. In the next couple months, maybe your sleep cycle and, , you are a bit messed up, but how can a couple weeks of not sleeping well affect you for the next 20 years maybe?

I 

Rhona: think the problem is, most ultra athletes aren't doing that just once in a year they're doing it. That's true. Quite a few times. And the training also involves you to do, to really push yourself, 

Vedangi: especially if you have a full-time job and your training.

Rhona: Yeah. If you have a full-time job and you're training, you're definitely not sleeping enough. Mm-hmm. I think that's just like a, a straight up, you know, there's not enough time in the day, , so you probably are causing yourself long-term effects there. It is very interesting. Just because we.

Think of these people as heroes and, uh, incredible. And we, we say that what they're doing is really great and they're super healthy and, but I'm not sure that it is. And that's maybe, I think for most people, if we change that and we accepted that, that isn't actually really good for us, maybe we'd all feel better about ourselves and the level that we are doing and that should be celebrated. 

Vedangi: Yeah, absolutely. A hundred percent. Yeah. That, you know what, living a good life with, being good at your sport and also living a good life at the same time should definitely be celebrated. Yeah. Yeah. 

Rhona: But I'm also not saying that it's. A bad choice to do, to not do that.

I'm just saying that maybe it's not like we shouldn't put it on a pedestal. 

Vedangi: Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. I feel like I've done that for a very, very long time and it's become a bit of a thing in my head sometimes. But it's weird. Everyone keeps saying that as you, as you get a bit older and older, those kind of hectic, extreme thoughts kind of calm down.

Rhona: Mm. 

Vedangi: Um, and I used to always almost look down upon that. And now I'm getting older. I'm 27 now, and now I'm getting a bit like that. I value every single day when I do yoga, I'm like, I'm only doing yoga. This is what I'm doing When I, when I meditate, I'm like, this is what I'm doing right now and this is all I should be doing right now.

The world isn't gonna end for like the 10 minutes that I'm quiet, you know? Yeah. Um, and 

Rhona: but did you used to think it would. 

Vedangi: Yeah. Yeah. I used to be like, no, if I'm taking 10 minutes and if I'm not replying to that thing right now, if I'm not doing this thing that I think I should be doing in that particular moment right away, then I'm unprofessional in some way.

I'm won't as far as saying a bad person, but I'm doing something wrong. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I definitely thought that a lot. And then that's calmed down and it's really nice because now that sense of urgency with certain things has gone and I'm still finding the balance with where the sense of urgency should be there.

But yeah, for the larger part, it's quite nice to have that bit calmed. 

Rhona: Yeah, I've definitely felt that as well. Where do you think it came from for you? Hmm. 

Vedangi: It came from actually having solid proof that the world doesn't end when you don't right away do things. Yeah. Um, and actually that part of me didn't come from sport in general, but out of the social desperation that I say I have sometimes.

Mm-hmm. Where I love being by myself but there's this part of me which has sought for validation from certain sources a lot. Especially if they're professionally placed higher than me, or age wise, elder than me, that sort of thing. Yeah. And so it came from that part of me, which found out that A, you don't have to please anyone and b.

If someone needs something that something doesn't need to happen right away. And so there was this time that someone I really valued messaged me and I was like, what if I just wait before I message back? Just wait, see what happens. Nothing bad's gonna happen. They're not gonna unsend the message. That's not what gonna happen. Yeah. And it was funny because that was the proof, you know, you don't unsend the message I replied and I was maybe a bit bit calmer and more regulated when I did.

And maybe that was like, you know, a nice proof that bad things don't happen when you don't do things right away. 

Rhona: That's also a really interesting one as well about the, sometimes what you do in response to the thing that you feel pressured to do. So in this case, send a reply actually ends up being a better.

Or more well thought out that's another thing that comes with age, isn't it? You realize that if you do spend a little extra second on something or leave something a little bit longer, maybe actually something better comes up from it even. 

Vedangi: Yeah, it's kind of a similar concept to, um, for example, being sleep deprived and riding at a few kilometers per hour, slower, but for longer than getting a longer sleep and doing.

Yeah, the same few hours extra, but faster. Yeah. If that makes sense. Yeah. Um, I, I can kinda relate to that in that sense. 

Rhona: Yeah. I think that one's a great example in sport because it's, that applies across all sport, doesn't it? Like, do I do this extra training session this week, but then I'm so knackered next week that I can't complete the training I was supposed to do, and same with that, do you stop and have sleep and then perform better tomorrow, or, I mean, that must have come up so many times in the round the world.

How did you decide where the end of the day was? 

Vedangi: Uh, I decided it on the go actually. I, I mean, before leaving at planned where the end of every single day would be, but I had also accepted that it was never going to be a solid thing. It would be a guideline. It would be more so that I know where I'm going rather than.

How I'm going to do things. Yeah. And I think that worked really well because especially the second time, because it helped me let go where I had to let go. Yeah. And it helped me push more where I felt I could. Um, and it helped me find that extra bit on the days where I needed it, you know? Um, and that was quite good.

Um, but on around the world, especially in Australia and many days where I was a bit like this, pouring rain, nothing's dry, but I think I can get to the coast today, so I think I should get to the coast today. I think I have that little bit of extra, but then if I get a longer sleep overnight than tomorrow, I can go a little bit faster and reset.

Then I kind of, I, I found a way to reset. And I would do that based on how many days I had to get to somewhere. Yeah. If that made sense. I always knew once I get to a big desert area, I, I'm absolutely not in control. Yeah. You know, the wind is in control. And, then I was going with my heart rate zones quite a bit because, um, that was a really kind of ideal way for me to deal with things.

Yeah. Um, and I was always like, once I get in the desert bit, if it's headwind the whole way then, and if I'm promising myself that I'll stick to a certain heart rate zone, then whatever else happens, the distance that gets done gets done. Hmm. Um, if I have to stay an hour or two longer, I have to then think about is it worth it?

On the go I'll be looking at the wind charts and things, which I loved because I was like. This is so cool that I'm in the middle of nowhere and I've got just enough internet to look at wind charts to figure out how the direction of wind is changing. And, also, in India, I needed to think about these things because it was at the start of summer and I struggle with heat a lot. Every single time I've written in India, no matter which year I did it in, I got heat exhaustion and I couldn't keep food down. So every time that was a problem, I had to be like, Hey, I could just ride through the night. And then I almost, there were days when I got more done overnight than I did during the daytime.

Rhona: Yeah. 

Vedangi: And then, my friend who he's kind of a mentor, he, he got me into everything, endurance or anything long distance for that matter. And he was like, you. Plan this right then we are we are actually training you to deal with this heat better.

So you're still having this problem. Yes. But we are teaching your body to deal with this better. And have you thought of this as more than just get this ride over and done with? Yeah. And you know, think about, oh actually I can have a good sleep in the night rather than mess up my, sleep cycle.

Yeah. And have the right electrolytes or the right amount of electrolytes have a cooling vest thing. Have more coconut water. Have a couple more stops than normal. Yeah. But you're learning to deal with the thing that you hate, the thing that you.

Find so hard, a little bit better for future. And, and I was, I, I thought that was quite cool because I did sleep better and towards the end my whoop had green recoveries back to back and 20 plus, strain back to back, and I was kinda fine. 

Rhona: That's so good. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't surprise me that you overcame that because in my head there's no barrier for you every single time I've ever seen you come up against something, you find a way around it.

Do you ever doubt yourself? Uh, 

Vedangi: I 

Rhona: doubt 

Vedangi: myself in social situations. I doubt myself in mountain biking. Um, I do doubt myself in certain, um, every time comparison is possible and I know my brain will go there. 

Rhona: Mm-hmm. 

Vedangi: I do doubt myself. I find it extremely hard to pull myself out of it as well, but, um.

I really do have to work hard in my head to figure out just what's important and what matters in any particular situation. Yeah. Um, to then be a bit more normal about it. 

Rhona: So you definitely experienced that comparison is the thief of joy thing. Oh yeah, 

Vedangi: absolutely. That's my worst enemy. 

Rhona: Yeah. Okay. I 

Vedangi: don't see actual barriers with anything.

Mm-hmm. Um, I'll do things that I hate, but my brain will not be a nice place to be. Yeah. And that's the problem. I'm not the kind of person who's like, I don't like doing this, so I won't, I'm like that with food. If I don't like something, I just won't have it. But I'm not like that with experiences or things

but my brain won't be a nice place to be and that's what like, but then I also see that experience as. How can I teach myself to be better safe space for myself? Yeah. You know, like, how can my mind be a safe space so that the comparison thing isn't getting as hectic? And I also think this is very much a cultural thing.

Where I grew up, comparison was, very much a thing, um, you're always compared to someone else's child, cousins, whatever. That comes up more often than you'd think. 

Rhona: Mm-hmm. 

Vedangi: And you're always worse off than someone, and it's made clear to you.

And then that now I realize as a grownup has not gone very well for me. Yeah. Um, so I, I, it's not like I don't wanna self validate too much and, be like, look, everything you've done, you are so good. I'm not, I don't care about that. I just want to feel safe within myself and for me.

That, that's another reason why I'll still do things that I don't like because everything is kind of teaching me that Yeah. To feel safe within myself. 

Rhona: Yeah. So if you are the only person on the playing field, generally, I think basically, I mean, I think nothing can stop you. Yeah. Yeah, 

Vedangi: .

And that's, that's such a thing because, um, the first time I, did Round the World, the way I came up with the fact that I was gonna do this round the world ride was when I was preparing for London Edinburgh in Royal London and I planned myself this 400 kilometer route. I used to live down in Bournemouth and I planned this route from Bournemouth to London and back.

Um, and cutting a very long story short, when my bike broke down and I knocked on someone's door, stayed with them, and they asked me where I was going, I said, John o Groats, which wasn't part of the plan. I didn't have any equipment. I didn't have a lot of money. To get to John O Groats. But then I had committed, right?

I had said to someone, I'm going to John O Groats I love this story. So then I was like, I gotta go there now. But I knocked on people's doors, I stayed with them. I, I slept on the bus shelters. Uh, and that was a big part because the whole bus shelters thing, it was so, it exposed me to the real uk Yeah. In such a weird way, um, that I was feeling lonely, but I was also feeling like no one knows what I'm doing, where I am.

Like, nothing can stop me now. And the Lonely Bits were where I was reading Juliana book This Road. I ride First Woman to circumnavigate the Globe on a bicycle and everything about her personality really kind of drew me in. That book really inspired me.

And I was like, if I really get to John O Groats, I'm doing this too. Um, and then there was something about it that pushed me to John O Groats I rode on A 9, which, which now I think about it, I'm like, wow, what the hell? I know I would never ride along that A9. I can't believe you did that.

And, and now I, now I look at all the road watch, A 82 Road Watch, A9 Road, watch, that sort of group center. And there's like, oh, this idiot cyclist. And I'm like, oh my God, if I, if I look through posts from 2017, I was the idiot cyclist that someone may have posted about. Um, but that, ride when I got to John O Groats and I told my dad I was gonna ride my bike around the world and I wanted to break the record, um, it didn't even cross my mind that anything would be wrong if I didn't achieve that. Yeah. It didn't cross my mind that I wouldn't achieve that. All that crossed my mind was that how is this gonna happen? Now I'm riding my back around the world. Okay, what does that mean?

I know what it means by reading her book physically. I know what it takes, but you know, someone else has a British passport. I have an Indian, so what does that mean? Oh, visas. Oh, I remember, uh, when I was a kid my, we, we applied for a schenghen and visa to go to Europe. So that's one of the visas I'll need.

And then in my head those things kind of came together. Mm-hmm. But it just didn't occur to me that anything would be wrong at any point if I failed. It was actually like I'm trying something really huge and everyone would know that. And it also didn't occur to me that I was too young to do it or anything because I had once known someone who was 19 years old, I still know him, actually a 19-year-old British guy who had ridden his bike around the world.

Um. And I remember when he was passing through India, emailing him, and you know, I said to him, when I'm 19, I'm gonna do something, something like this. But it again, I, I wasn't a cyclist back then. Yeah. So it, no, I never thought I would actually cycle around. Yeah. Yeah. So I never saw that as a barrier as such.

But the comparison and competition thing is a funny one because it never occurred to me even when I found out someone else, was going to be attempting the same record, same time of the year. It hadn't occurred to me at all. It was, for me, it was more like. I am not getting the Russian visa

oh no, I'm getting the Russian visa, but it's not for enough days or if I apply for this visa now, there's a certain time period within which you have to apply, you can't apply too further in advance and things like that.

There's so much into it. And I was kind of thinking about those things. So in my head I wasn't comparing, and, having played football, having lost enough matches, having conceded enough goals, having, failed in a way so many times. And also when I did play football, I was never the strongest anywhere in any sport ever.

And so I always knew that failure is a chance, but it's not a big deal. Yeah. It became a thing that if I'm cycling. I'm just me. I'm doing something long distance, it's on my decisions and my goals and my, what happens when no one's watching? And that really kind of stopped that comparison and tracks because 

Rhona: Yeah, 

Vedangi: because I knew, you know, so I don't know.

That helped me. 

Rhona: I think it makes such a big difference if you're doing it for yourself primarily. Doesn't it? I have to say, when I think about 19-year-old, Vee going off to do this, one, part of me is just so in awe. I just can't ever imagine believing I could do something like that at 19. And I that that is this quality of you that is so unique and it's the reason you're so successful.

Um, it's just so amazing that you would go and do that. And the other part of me is like, oh my goodness, how did you survive? 

Vedangi: But it didn't take any self-belief to make that decision, to do that. Like the context here is that. I did move to a whole new country, whole new culture, only five days after I turned 18.

Rhona: Most people who do that don't cycle around the world. 

Vedangi: Yeah. But for me, it was more like I didn't make any friends from the culture I come from, I had no Indian friends. I tried to make everything from scratch when it came to like the social connections.

Yeah. And I didn't have a community and I felt really lonely. But I had just come off of the back of a bike expedition, having ridden across the Indian Himalayas, only a few months when I was, , in the summer, I guess I, before you went to university? Before I went to university.

Ah, and, and, and because I'd done that on a bike, there was a part of me which was like, oh, I can do things on a bike. So even if there's no one else with me, I can just. Look at this place with a funny name on the map and I can go and see what's there. And that became a thing and suddenly, because I didn't even think that I, I rode on motorways by accident, like, and then found out when I got escorted away by the police.

Um, and I wasn't like, there was no concept of, oh, I could get in trouble when I was here because I was a bit like, I will still be in way less trouble as I would be if I did the same thing in India. Uh, like, you know, because here everything felt like there was a room for conversation. There was a room for 

Rhona: that is so interesting.

Wow. I, I'm so interested by that. This just shows like how di like our different experiences of the world are. I think because I would be terrified to do that in the UK because in the uk like the laws are, the law things are so strict. Yeah, India. In India,, I broke road laws and I got away with all of them by accident.

By accident. But we drove the places where we weren't supposed to legally and stuff, and like by accident. And then when somebody asked, we were just like, I'm really sorry. And they were like, it's okay. Stupid white person. And I was like, yay. Thank you. 

Vedangi: Yeah. Also, it's quite interesting until I came here, now I understand that people can have racist experiences and things like that, and I've had them too, but there was no part of me which thought that because I was from a different country or a different skin color, I would have a different experience.

That was never part of my vocabulary. That was never a part of anything I thought of at all. Even now, 

Rhona: I'm so glad of that. But I'm sorry that our country didn't live up to that. But it's 

Vedangi: weird because even now when I tell my parents about certain things, for example, and they're like, oh no, that was a discrimination because of your skin color, sort of, you know? And, and, and I'm like, no, no, no, no one thinks like that. I, I kind of do that thing because I just refuse to believe that that will ever be the only reason. And I, I'm always like, no, I'm more than that. So I expect people to see me as more than that.

And I've put that as such a strong thing in front of me that I do look past it and I won't take no for an answer if I think that it's purely because of my skin color or something stupid like that. I'm not having this, you know, it's so good. But it's, it's kind of, it's a bit forced sometimes, but that's the thing.

But my original point was that, um, self-belief or confidence to do that thing at 19 wasn't what I was thinking about. Yeah. For me, it was more that I didn't even realize that I was too young to do. What I was doing, or too inexperienced to do what I was doing. I didn't see it as jumping into the deep end when I now know I was jumping into the deep end.

Yeah. To me it was an adventure. It was a new thing that I was trying, it was, it was something I get to learn from scratch. Something that I get to talk to new people and ask questions. And so the first thing I remember when I told my dad about it, he sent me a bunch of links about people who have gone around the world solo.

And then when he did that, he also was like, you should get in touch with these people. And I remember telling him, I was like, I don't think they're ever gonna reply. And then in a weird way, I did get in touch and every single person replied with a positive thing. Wow. Every single person that asked for help helped me.

They, maybe they didn't give me like direct support. Yeah. 

But 

I, any. Technical question I asked, I was helped with Mm. Uh, in a much detailed way, and I, I don't know, in a way, you know, yes, I had people tell me that I was too young to be doing anything, but because I didn't feel it and because there was almost this part of me, which was like, oh, what have I got to lose?

Yeah. Not in a way that, that's fair. Like it didn't occur to me that I could be in danger at some point that just didn't occur to me. Like when the thing happened in Spain, you know, being held at knife point or beaten up and being mugged and that stuff. Which, which is awful. I'm sorry that happened to you.

It had occurred to me that I could happen. I, it did occur to me when, Callum and I were like sitting down in the cafe and writing a risk assessment. Then it occurred to me that, oh wow, like really bad things can happen. Because he was so much more aware that about the bad things that can happen.

And I was a bit like, yeah, bad things can happen. You know, yes, but I'll be fine. 

Rhona: But if you hadn't known those things, maybe you wouldn't have done it. And that's, you know, it's So you the Yeah. But I knew 

Vedangi: those things second time and I was still young enough. 

Rhona: Yeah. Yeah. But I guess the second time, maybe you thought about more how to mitigate plus the second time you'd already done it once, so you probably like, oh, 

Vedangi: I don't know.

It's so much harder to do anything the second time. 

Rhona: Yeah. Tell me about the mentality of that then, 

Vedangi: it was so hard not to do it just to prove something. 

Rhona: Mm. 

Vedangi: It was, it was also, um, what would you have 

Rhona: been trying to prove? 

Vedangi: Uh, that I'm stronger.

Rhona: Yeah. 

Vedangi: That I can do it better, uh, that I can have more data to prove what I've done because by then I learned that that matters in this part of the world. Yeah. Um, I didn't even know that anyone can ever doubt or question what I've done. Like I didn't know that until it happened. Yeah. And it's actually good that I didn't know it until it happened, because now I, now I know for sure.

Now I also know whether or not I want to care about it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. And I learned to have that choice or give myself that choice more with the second time. Also the thing that crossed my mind was that I know exactly what the stakes, I know how hard it is to ride your bike when you don't want to ride your bike at times.

Um, and you know when that's genuinely the last thing you want to do. Um, I knew what it took. To still get up in the morning and do it, 

Rhona: and then you still went and did it. So impressive. And that was hard 

Vedangi: though, because knowing what it takes and then going out and wanting to do it suddenly makes you wonder whether you do or do not want to do it.

Yeah. And that was a big part of this whole thing. And also competition was the other thing. I was like do I care about the competition? And then I remember on one of my best days where I felt great about myself, I found out that there will be a bigger competition going into the next round of the world.

Mm-hmm. Um, so I'd just finished mega and I was like, you know what? People I went to uni with Mega Avalanche. Mega Avalanche. Yeah. Sorry. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And um, you know, it's just like having so many shots of Sambuca and having a great time in the French alps with pals and a mate was like, oh, have you seen this?

And I was like, oh, I don't stand a chance. This is never happening for me. I'm never gonna get the record. I started spiraling, right there. Mm. And, and then it was funny because then more alcohol was pushed towards me. And then I just had fun.

Then I forgot about the competition was great. Um, but 

Rhona: a ride can be

Vedangi: so much more than a record, which you've proven, you know?

Oh, and that's what exactly, that's exactly what happened. I trained like it was a competition, and then I can 110% say that I enjoyed my second time around the world so much more than the first time because, um.

I remember this, uh, another ultra cyclist, Abdulla Zeinab was one of the videographers for the Australian bit for my last round of the world. When I was about to do the 90 mile straight route, he was like you don't know how often you're ever going to experience this, so you don't want to be in a shower when you're 50.

And just be like, oh, I was wishing away time when I was riding on this really beautiful section of the road, or just in this really beautiful part of the world. And, and it was quite funny because at the time I was like, oh, who thinks like that? You know? And I didn't think much about it.

And then until I did round the world a second time, I lived every single moment like that. I was like. Who knows if this will ever happen to me. I had so many close calls, as a cyclist on the road, you just have so many close calls. Yeah. You just accept that, you just accept your fate there.

Yeah. And so road cycling is dangerous. Yeah. And, and it's funny because there was this point where in the middle of that thought I got hit by a car.

Uh, that was when I actually had to get stitches and there was no way, nowhere that I could get butterfly stitches or whatever. And so I had to put like super glue in. 

Rhona: You glued it yourself. Yeah. Did some, had you ever done it before? You just looked, oh, I had my 

Vedangi: internet also. I've done many first aid courses at this point in my life.

So I I didn't know they taught 

Rhona: you how to glue wounds in first aid courses. 

Vedangi: No, they don't. Nobody teaches. See that? Yeah, I was gonna say, you learn it from like, you know, weird channels on YouTube, which, uh, teach you how to there, watch yourself. There is nothing you 

Rhona: can't do. There was nothing. It was, it was, it was 

Vedangi: quite funny though.

It's, it's stung. But I had some really nice coffee and, um, I was talking to some road workers at this, um, other place and they were waiting at the next, Roadhouse and by the time I got there, they had drinks ready and stuff.

But because I had called in early and I, I was like, Hey, I'm in a bit of trouble and if I could, I wouldn't do the 65 kilometers more, but because I have to, can you please, you know, book a room for me and put two veggie burgers with extra mustard sauce in the fridge for me.

So they were waiting there probably when I got there. It felt so surreal that the same day that I got hit by a vehicle close to a shrine of someone else who died from getting hit by a vehicle this had happened.

Yeah. It was, yeah, it was so strange 

Rhona: because you believe so much in human kindness, you get it back. I really think that's a thing in the world. Oh, I definitely think 

Vedangi: that. Yeah. Also, that's another thing because I grew up hearing stories of human kindness, but I, I was surrounded by a lot of people not believing in people

 The world is a harsh place and bad things can happen too many times. Sort of thought process. Yeah. And so when I got a choice to do anything by myself, the thing I believed in right from the start, and the thing that my dad always says is that people are way more good than bad. And so that's something that I was like, I wanna see for myself now. And I've had so many proofs now that people are good. Imagine being in the middle of Mongolia, which you have been in a different context.

I know that I was there when you told us the story about it. And you are really sleepy and tired struggling with the heat and the wind and you feel like you're gonna fall asleep on your bike. You're listening to an audiobook and out of nowhere a van is overtaking you.

But there's a lady that gives you a can of kind of cold coffee. You don't expect that. You don't know that's gonna happen. That's amazing. No, you are just there falling asleep on your bike or thinking you're gonna fall asleep on my bike. And that just happens. 

Rhona: Not knowing it's coming must make it even 

Vedangi: better.

There was a day when I got given so many water bottles, maybe 11 or 12 people just giving me water bottles and things like that, and just random things when I didn't expect. That's happened so many times that. Yeah. Now I find it hard to believe almost that people do bad things to you intentionally.

Yeah. And I think that's maybe a positive thing. Yeah. And, but then that also, that's actually convinced me that if I ask people nicely enough, if I tell them my full situation, if I explain myself a little bit better, I can almost make anyone my friend, 

Rhona: if that makes sense.

Yeah. I think there is definitely truth in that and definitely my experience of the world because I meet people when they're in quite a vulnerable context in my job. You can connect with anybody. As humans, there's always something we can connect on. And actually even people who've made mistakes or made choices that they aren't proud of, you can basically always find good in them.

Mm-hmm. I, I do totally agree with you though, but I think that the way that it's inspired you to do so much and be so brave in your life is just amazing that, um, and everybody basically who goes on an adventure like you do, comes back and the main thing they have to say is, the world is a beautiful place and humans are beautiful.

Vedangi: Have you seen the thing like, if you want to believe, that the world is a bad place, watch the news. If you want to believe that the world is a good place, travel

turn the news off and get out there. Yeah. Yeah. Get out and see that place that you think is such a bad place. 

Rhona: Sorry about that. Everybody. Puppy stepped on. Big dog. It's all good. No fights here. Um, yeah, a hundred percent. I definitely buy into that if you stay inside and sadly the people in this world who are being spreading hate and being so awful to each other are staying inside and being in their little echo chamber and looking at the news and stupid nonsense online.

Vedangi: Yeah. Also, if you want to believe in the bad, if you believe that the world is out to get you, I think the universe gives you proofs that the world is out to get you. I agree. I agree. 

Rhona: I definitely agree. So after you finished riding around the world for the second time, after already doing a billion other incredible things, where did that leave you mentally and physically?

Vedangi: I think mentally it left me a little bit fulfilled, but then at the same time, um, a bit burnt out. 

Rhona: Yeah. Which is fair. Yeah. Because, to put some extra information, that effort you had to go to, to do that trip was so much more than say a western white person, which is most of the people who do these kind of expeditions because of your passport as you slightly alluded to before.

And because you had to do such a harder route and you had so many hilarious extra complexities that Yeah. You know, like even if you had just had a smooth round the world, it would've felt fair enough to feel quite exhausted and stuff afterwards, but you had to do so much more.

Vedangi: Yeah, it, but then it's funny, it didn't feel unfair to have to do that. It felt like, ah, now a big challenge. This is, this is fun. Okay, this is something new. Um, this is a new way to do it, you know, or 

Rhona: great way to frame it. 

Vedangi: And, um, it, yeah, that's what it was. It felt like a new way to do it. Yeah. And that maybe this is also a lesson from adventure, not feeling like your hard done by Mm.

Because you do see that there's a whole part of the world that's way worse off and having to think about purely survival. And this is you choosing, put yourself in that situation. Of course. '

Rhona: cause exactly. You could say, you could sit and say, oh, well, you know, the other people who've done this had it way easier.

They could do easier route, they could get visas more easily, but then just the fact you're doing this already puts you in the top 1% percent, 

Vedangi: literally. Yeah. And, and I've seen so much proof of that everywhere again. It's, it's hard not to think about it in a more positive way. Um, physically around the world left me feeling stronger.

Yeah. 'cause as I said, as I was coming to the end, in the last 1,500 odd kilometers, I felt so strong. I was still, I was not doing big distances. I was doing roughly 200 KA day. Right. 

Rhona: Not, not big distance. No. As I wasn't doing every person listen, every person listening just went, you what?

I know it's the context, but yeah. 200 kilometers a day is huge. 

Vedangi: It was like this weird thing and because then I was getting so much more rest and I drinking, my body weight in coconut water I just felt so much stronger as I came to the end of the journey. And when I came to, came back to the uk, I was like this is incredible.

I actually feel good. This is great. Um, and yeah, also I felt proud of myself, which I didn't when you should have, but I never did it before about my first round of the world. I never got my celebration the first time. So this time because I had the whoop kind of going good recovery, good strain, good sleep, because I was like this is making me a stronger

person because I could see that that helped me feel so much more prouder of myself in a weird way. Um, 

Rhona: so what you're saying is having a good rest and a good recovery made you feel proud. Exactly. Honestly, 

Vedangi: good rest and good recovery. Made sure that the next day was better and the one after that was better and that, um, I would say good rest and cilium husk made me feel proud of myself because at Cilium Husk made sure that food was actually staying in my body rather than actually just going out back to back.

That was quite harsh, India was so hard, finishing in your home country when you knew that's the last thing you want to do. Riding in the heat, not riding in my home country. Yeah. Riding in the heat. I'm not a heat person.

Rhona: So tell me, where are you now Vee? I know you've got lots of exciting plans for the future, but where are you now with balance, rest, movement?

Um, 

Vedangi: now I'm trying to rest more and have at least a little bit of an active part because I'm going through this whole weird phase where I've lost a little bit of sense of self. I'm, I don't feel very good right now. Finding that joy little by little and but I also know that with my goals this year, there's gonna be a lot of varied training that I'm gonna have to do. And with that in mind, um, am trying to find more mental balance than physical. I do think that I'm kinda obsessed with screens, being obsessed with tech, being obsessed with all of that.

Um, I'm trying not to let that get in the way of my mental health. Mm-hmm. And I'm trying to not let that destroy the safe space in my head that I'm trying to build for myself. So that, what do you do 

Rhona: to look after your mental health? 

Vedangi: I've been trying to get outside every day. And stay active in one way or another every single day. Maybe not hectic active, but active enough, you know?

Um, so that my brain is a safe space for myself. Also, I'm trying to make my outside time as also my non-tech time. That's a good idea. So if I'm going on a bike ride and if it's meant to be my mental health bike ride, then my watch is not visible to me.

Pretty much every single ride I've done in the last month has been without seeing the data. At the end of the day, after it's all done, it will get uploaded if it does, but I'm probably not making it public. Um, but I'm not thinking about it. I'm not thinking about the data and I'm trying to do more stuff like that right now so that I can get my head out of that whole you.

If you achieve a certain kilometers per hour situation then you are a good athlete versus bad being outside right now is more for helping my head be a safe space for myself than much else. 

Rhona: Yeah. So you can be mindful, but also so you don't start Yeah, yeah. I Comparing yourself to metrics that aren't helpful.

Vedangi: Yeah, yeah. Metrics and other people, so, yeah. Yeah. So again, finding solo time has been so important for me in the last few, weeks I would say. Um, yeah, having a puppy in my life has not helped because looking after another creature as you just, yes. And the puppy 

Rhona: is very much trying right now to make as much noise as possible, and we're slowly trying to down.

I know 

Vedangi: he, he fell asleep for a bit. It was amazing. I was so impressed. And, um, yeah, now he's awake and very awake. 

Rhona: Yeah. Metrics actually hasn't come up that much on this podcast, but I think is a really interesting thing. Um, I personally don't use Strava, which is a common, um, oh no way. Like recording, I guess you would.

Yeah. People put it's like a Facebook, but for sports or something, isn't it? That's kind of, or like Instagram. But, um, and these days 

Vedangi: probably even like a dating app. Yeah, yeah. With like the messages feature and stuff. Like that's 

Rhona: probably, um, I used to, to use it. I have a profile, um, sorry if you've ever tried to interact with me on it 'cause I don't go on.

But, um, it massively messed with my mental health. It's really bad for Mere. I am 

Vedangi: Well you're trying to get every single QOM in Sheffield. I mean, I 

Rhona: cer I, I've tried some things like that, but I also like, uh, I don't know. So stupid. Even though you can logic yourself out of it and say to yourself, I, I didn't ride today because I was working 12 hours.

So there was no time to ride. I would go on at the end of a 12 hour shift and be like, look at all these people who ran and rode today. They're so much better humans than me. So stupid. What do you think does, is that, do you have any problems with the comparison or is it comparing with yourself that's the problem for you?

Uh, I have 

Vedangi: this thing when I look at someone's Strava data, I go straight to their heart rate. 

Rhona: Oh really? So you are definitely getting in too deep. 

Vedangi: Yes, but not in a, not in the way you would think. It's more like how can I get my zone two to be that? 

Rhona: But you know, just every single person is so different.

You can't have the same zone two as someone else. I know, I know. 

Vedangi: But I find it interesting because, when I also actually, I don't even look at the average heart rate. I'm looking at what was the max heart rate in this, and then what was the elevation gain, because I know if I have any significant elevation gain on my ride.

I know that I'm hitting like a higher end of my max heart rate. I know I'm hitting my zone 4 0 5. Their 

Rhona: max heart rate could be 150. I know, 

Vedangi: but my logical brain sometimes doesn't know that. Well, didn't know that. I don't look at other people's stravas anymore like that.

Rhona: What else do you compare? Where else are the comparisons for you?

Vedangi: Um, I think my comparisons are very much like, oh no, I'm not as strong as this other person at this point of time. Or actually even worse when I know I used to be much stronger than I am at a certain point of time. Yeah. So actually if you 

Rhona: compare to yourself 

Vedangi: as hard, 

Rhona: oh, 

Vedangi: so much. And then so sometimes I've.

Had to stop myself in tracks from looking at my really old Strava stuff from the round, the world time Strava. The other day I did a 50 something kilometer ride and then instantly after, I went and like look at some of my longest rides and I looked at my average hat rate and I was like, here, remember back then when you were so much fitter and I was a bit like, well that makes me feel a bit shit because today I felt good about the ride.

I did and I had this weird mental thing in my head and then I had to be like, let's get back in the real world now. 

Rhona: Yeah, 

Vedangi: yeah. 

Rhona: I know you know this 'cause we talked about it earlier, but you can't sustain that level all the time. All the time. And it's like we said, there's ups and downs and fa, high phases and low phases and.

Yeah, but it, it doesn't make it easier. You can want to logic yourself out of it as much as possible, but sometimes you, you still can't and you still feel rubbish about it.

Okay, we had a brief interruption from the posty and from the dogs, and now we're going to try, hopefully, with puppy's permission to finish off our episode. But this is real life,, you have to balance everything. Okay, so we were just talking about the phases of life and that this is a phase where, yeah, maybe it is more restful, but that's okay.

There's lots of exciting things coming in the future, and you have to be ready for them.

Vedangi: Yeah, absolutely. I think I'm currently in a phase where, um, the bursts of energy I have to make the most out of them, and anything outside of those. Has to be on the calmer side and on the more restful side. And as I said earlier, even the mental rest has been, the mental and emotional rest has been so important for me right now.

Mm-hmm. Because that's what's gonna stop me from the comparison cycle when I'm, you know, feeling worse off, if that makes sense. I'm also trying to not have a sense of urgency for a change, which is really hard because. I'm the person who stays up all night to finish the thing. Because I think it's so urgent. Even if a large sense it's not 

so sense of urgency is a funny one that I'm trying to really calm that side of me down. Yeah. Um, but I do love my late nights. And um, also actually an interesting part of that has been something as simple as choosing to read. Lighter hearted, non adventure, non-research, non reference books, and more lighter stuff.

You know, like articles that aren't anything to do with self-improvement. Yeah. Or adventure or, or being a better athlete or whatever.

Rhona: That realization I think is so interesting and important because I was actually gonna ask you how do you balance with the fact that your job, your hobby, your friendships and relationships are all, and yeah, like even the reading you do are all kind of intertwined.

If I read about somebody going on in adventure, it has nothing to do with my work, so it's fine. I feel. It feels part of the fun part of my life. Yeah. But for you,

Vedangi: everything feels research for me. It's insane.

Rhona: Yeah. It's all mixed into one. And even the fact that, if you go for a bike ride that I guess could be seen as part of your job.

Vedangi: I know it's crazy actually. And I think the person that finds this harder than me is my partner. Mm. Um, because every time I'm doing something that's even remotely related to what I do for work, he doesn't know if that's a work thing or that's a me thing.

Rhona: Yeah.

There's hours of. Of podcast material in your life because I mean, your life, there's so many phases of being Yeah. And also just you've lived so much more than your average 27-year-old. And there's so many, stories out there. But I think the episode has to be ended somewhere, uh, but maybe there can be another.

Um, and I really think we have covered some awesome stuff. And actually the fact that you are at this kind of. Transition phase, I guess we could call it, and that you're reflecting a lot on this right now is super, super relevant and maybe it'll be interesting to see how things change over the next kind of year.

Thanks dogs for mildly behaving and thank you so much Vee for being on the episode. Thank you so much for having me. It's been amazing.

 Thank you so much to Vedangi for such a varied and interesting episode. She shows that whether you have cycled around the world twice or cycled around your village, many of the daily challenges we face are the same. She painted the world in such a beautiful light, and I hope you feel inspired to go out and experience that in whatever way you enjoy.

You may have noticed the episodes coming out a bit more slowly after some really useful feedback. The release schedule will be slowing down a bit, giving you a bit more time to get through these long, deep conversations. And me a bit more time to get them out there. Keep an eye on our Instagram at rest days community or the website rest days community.com for all the latest info.

See you soon.