Katy Roberts Transcript
Welcome to another episode of The Rest Days Community Podcast. This week we talk to Katie Roberts. In case you don't feel ready to hear about these topics today, I just wanted to mention that we discuss suicide and mental health in this episode, so some pretty big ones, and maybe you're not feeling ready for that today, and that's okay.
We also discuss Katie's incredible passion for raising awareness around these issues. Katie cycled the coast of Britain and met people from all walks of life who shared their stories and experiences. She's a firm believer that movement is medicine, but also searches to balance her love of cycling with all of her life joys.
We catch her at a point in her life when she's trying to find a more restful balance and hear about how this feels so unnatural to her. Throughout this episode, Katie's energy and passion for helping others is so powerful, but you can see why this might make it hard for her to look after herself at times.
I hope you enjoy the conversation
Rhona: Hi, Katie. Welcome to The Rest Days Community Podcast. I am very excited to chat to you all things rest. Um, you, I think you'll probably be pretty good at this. Uh, you do a lot of speaking. I've seen you, um, speak before actually. And, and you were very good. So, uh, I'm excited to hear what you have to say.
Katy: Well, I probably talk too much. That's my problem. Waffle, waffle, waffle. But, um, hopefully, yeah, firstly, thanks for having me, and I really, like, think it's a great thing. It's a great podcast, and rest is just, I'm actually not very good at it, but I need it. Um, so yeah, really happy. Thanks for having me.
Rhona: Oh, yeah.
Well, I know it's funny because quite a lot of people, um, when I say, "Oh, I think you'd be a really great guest," they say, "Oh, I don't know if I would be, 'cause I'm not very good at having rest." And I'm like, "I think that's why it would be great." Yeah.
Katy: Exactly. Exactly, like, learning the hard way, which probably then makes you quite good, 'cause you're like, "No, no, I've been here before."
Like, come on.
Rhona: Yeah. And you can also sometimes just tell the, the sort of self-reflective types who are gonna realize that they haven't maybe had the rest that they need.
Katy: Yeah, or need, you know. Yeah, it's definitely, uh, trial and error, definitely, for sure. Yeah, yeah.
Rhona: Um, so I obviously have had pr- heard parts of your story, but I actually don't know much about your life.
You just told me that you've just moved house. Tell me what your life looks like at the moment.
Katy: Yeah, so life's pretty, pretty different, um, to what it was, actually. I mean, I, um, to go back a few years, like, I, um, like, did a really big cycle for me around the, the, sorry, Great Britain, and, um, that's where sort of things sort of, um, yeah, lots of things have happened off the back of that.
It was, um, don't know how much I should go into that. But anyway, from that, I've done lots of talks and things, and it's been amazing. And then now, and I started, a cycle group in Cornwall, so I'm, from Cornwall, grew up in Cornwall. And then, um, but recently, I've just, um, moved to Yorkshire, and now everything feels so topsy-turvy again.
I had my community, and I had my, my ride club, and I was doing lots of events and lots of, like, cool , cycling things, and it was just,, buzzing away. And, um, and I was doing loads of sort of rides and signing up for all these crazy events and stuff, and then everything just feels very slow.
Um, I've moved to Yorkshire. I don't know anyone here. Um, so life is feeling very different. Uh, it's taking some adjustments, but it's not, it's not as bad as I thought it was gonna be.
Rhona: What brought on the move?
Katy: So my partner lives here. So my partner lives in Yorkshire, and I've been, like, dragging my feet, not wanting to leave Cornwall.
Like, I love my... I just love my, uh, everything in Cornwall, basically, and it's... I've got such a army of supporters and friends and community and just, like, oh, it's just been as- amazing. And I think bec- they, it feels like they all went through it with me when I did my big ride. And, um, it's quite scary to, leave all that, my friends, my family, uh, you know.
Um, but, you know, it's like I'm trying to see this as, a new adventure. So I'm sort of feel a bit like I'm being like a grown-up. Um, and I'm, like, living with someone and, um, but it's all right. It's going well.
Rhona: Yeah, okay. It is funny 'cause I think there is something about, um, a lot of people who are from Cornwall, you know, they do struggle to leave.
I, I've, I've, I s- I've met many people like that, you know, and, and I can see why. It's an amazing place. I
Katy: go back on Friday, like, I'm like, uh, every month I've been going back, so yeah.
Rhona: Yeah, I think that's fair. That's fair. Oh, wow. So this is a really interesting time for you. So, um,, what do you do for work?
Katy: So I work, um, I work for a charity. I work in marketing and, and, and, um, it's not my passion. I, I, I, I, I... It's a lovely, um, it's a lovely brand, company, and it's... But I'm sort of ended up, I- when I did my big ride, I was sort of stuck for a job, and I, really lucky I found this job. Um, but it's not pulling on my strengths.
So that's another thing that feels, like, strange is before I filled my cup with so many other things. I didn't mind too much, but now, and it's like working from home, like, and I'm very much an outdoors people person, so it's like, uh, that, you know, again, these things are like little challenges. Maybe that's something I need to think about and adjust.
So yeah.
Rhona: It is funny, isn't it, how, when our lives go from really full to suddenly there's not n- as much in the diary. That feels quite a shock to the system. Mm-hmm. So I guess you have the time to rest at the moment. The question is, are you doing that, or are you then actually just f- frittering your time away?
Katy: No, I, I... Hmm, am I resting? I think for s- if you speak to some of my friends, they will be like, "For Katie, she's resting." I think if you speak to other people, they'll be like, "That's not resting." Um, I think I've been feeling quite strange because, for example, I went for a ride at the weekend, and I was meant to do 130K, and I just did 70, and I was like, "Meh."
And, like, I'm being quite odd at the minute, and, but I'm also not that, I'm not feeling that, that weird about it, and it's like I'm... It's happened. I actually did a post about it on social media, 'cause I was like, "Oh, yeah," like, I was sort of getting in my head a r- a bit about, like, I'm not sort of training and doing stuff as much as I was.
And I can't find the clubs that I had in Cornwall, and I was trying to make everything the same. And I sort of just went, you know, "Oh, I'm just gonna sign up anyway, you know. And if I don't..." And I went with the mentality of, like, it doesn't matter if you don't finish it, you know?
And I, and I did that with the Norfolk. I did this, signed up for this Norfolk 360, which I thought was 360K, and it was 360 miles, and I was like, "I don't think I'm gonna make it back for work." I
Rhona: was like- That's a big difference. Yeah.
Katy: Um, but, but I just was like, "Ah, you know, g- like, I've got friends that are doing it," and I just...
Normally, old Katie probably would've been like, "Oh, my God, I haven't trained, I haven't, you know, I'm not up to s-" you know, and I wouldn't have gone. Um, but I was like, "Pssh, like, whatever. Like, I just wanna have a good time." And I think I'm trying to sort of take that mentality at the minute of, Just giving stuff a go rather than full hog. You know what, rather than it being, like, full out, it's just, like, actually you could do things in little bite-sized bits. It doesn't have to be the whole shebang. And, like, on the weekend I was meant to do 130K, and I was like, "Nah, I'm tired.
I'm just gonna start," you know?
Rhona: It's true, though. We talk about this a lot on the podcast, actually, about, um, yeah, not just about, I guess, actual rest, but about, you know, why do you need t- to do something? Is there a difference between having done 70 and 130K? Not really. No. Not r- like, you're still a fit person.
You still had a nice day out. The only person who would care about that is you, basically. Yeah. Yeah. And it, the question is, why? And if, you know, fair enough, if the reason is you wanted to do 130K 'cause you had something really important you're training for, and you probably did need that in your legs, y- you know, sometimes it's good to push yourself.
But otherwise, did you need to do the extra bit? I don't know.
Katy: Exactly. Exactly, and that's kind of what my mentality's shifting a bit, and I'm, rather than- Signing up for these big things, giving myself a lot of pressure, you know, and training too much. You know, I did so... Oh, oh my God, I busted gut last year
and it was kind of fun. It was great but there's something that shifted and that I'm just like... And it's the same with,, talks and stuff. I'm, I've kind of, it's weird, I've sort of just canceled, um, doing a talk. Um, so everything's just, I don't really know why, but it's like rest, something I've shifted into a rest zone.
Like, I've gone, like, oh, you know, mentally, physically, everything's just like, I, it's like my body and my mind telling me to just chill out, and I've come weirdly just going along with it and being okay with it. This is the first year I haven't signed up for an event, like a big event, for, like, four years, and I'm like, "Yeah, I'm okay with that."
Rhona: You know? Maybe, yeah, for one, maybe, yeah, you, you need that because I do think the intensity of always pushing towards something and making training, if you're actually using the word training, normally means we're probably doing it to a level we're making some sacrifice in our life, and I think that's quite tiring.
It gets a bit wearing, and you, you do need to have little breaks.
Katy: 100%. I was, you know, I, I turned into a weirdo. I was just, like, canceling seeing friends and doing nice things because I would rather go on my own in the pouring rain, you know, for, hours, and I was like, "Oh, that's weird," you know? Um, now I am being quiet and chill.
None of my friends are here. Um, but that's, you know... I'm going back to Cornwall next week to, to see a lot of them, but
Rhona: yeah. And you'll find new ones. Yeah. You'll definitely find new ones.
Katy: Yeah, definitely. I already have, you know, 'cause I'm, like, pretty loud and, uh, annoying. So, you know, on, on any bike ride that I've done here recently, I'm just like, "Hello."
Rhona: "Be my friend." I'm sure people are happy, and they find that refreshing. Yeah, sure they do. I'm sure they're all ready
Katy: for you. Probably some people don't, but-
Rhona: Oh, well. Um, but it's good. It's interesting that you said that you... Are you, um, telling yourself you're okay with the fact that you're not doing as much, or are you actually okay with it?
Katy: In- really good question. Really good question. I, I can't really put my finger on it. Like, I'm, I'm, I can't really put my finger on it because normally I'm always fighting to, like- That's that failure thing, right? I'm always like, "No, I must do the 130," and
I would, even if I was cold and hungry, I'd just always be doing that 100, like whatever. I'd always never let myself give up, right? I'd never give up. So weird, weird may be the weird word, but, like, I'm doing it a lot at the minute, but I'm also I don't know. I've, I, I don't know if I've sort of lost my grit or I'm just being like...
I can't, I can't quite work it out, but I'm still, doing a lot of things because I wasn't before. I wasn't like, I was like, "Oh, I'm, I'm crap. I'm not gonna..." That, right, so the 130K is a good example. Like, I'm, I haven't trained, I'm not gonna be able to do that. So rather than not doing it, I'm just like, "Just see how you go," you know?
And then 70K, I was just like, "Nah," you know? And so I'm still doing it, um, just not putting an, uh, the pressure that I used to do. So yeah, something's definitely shifted. I am feeling weird about it. Like, I'm like, "Why am I not doing 130K? Like, what, why am I not doing it?" But also I'm not, I was also really quite happy to just go home and eat lots of food and get on the sofa.
Rhona: That sounds great. It's also interesting how you said that maybe you had lost your grit or something. Mm. But, um, I think sometimes it's harder to know when to stop or know when you're, or to stop when you're not having fun, or it's sometime- I think it can actually just be easier to just be so afraid of failure, if that's the thing you're afraid of, or- Mm
of quitting, or of the potential feeling rubbish afterwards, to just complete the thing even though you didn't want to or it wasn't the right thing to do.
Katy: Yeah. Yeah. And I- So
Rhona: maybe you've got, you're actually not lost your grit at
Katy: all. I like that. We'll go with that. We'll go with that, 'cause I'm just like, "Oh, what, what's going on?"
But, uh, yeah, I'm sort of just going along with it and I, I had something, an, an idea of a, a, another silly sort of bike event that I wanted to do and, you know, I've decided not to do it 'cause life's just been a bit weird recently. And I'm sort of, and I'm like, you know, p- the fear is like, oh gosh, what if this is, that's it now?
You're just gonna go into this sleepy, , rest period for too long, right? And it's so funny, I'm already like, "Oh, is that the right thing to do?" And it's just like, this year just give yourself the rest year, right? - Yeah ... you've got nothing-
Rhona: That's such an interesting thought that your, your brain was like, you know, "Is this me forever?"
Yeah. But presumably in the pattern of your life, this is the anomaly, and actually- Mm ... you always have fallen back to pushing yourself, I suspect.
Katy: Yeah. Yeah, definitely. And I think- maybe there is some, like, peace, right, in, in, in resting. You know, it's like I'm just kind of like taking it all in, understanding my new surroundings.
Um, you know, just being slow but trying to make it a good thing. And then when I say slow and rest, I'm still getting out on the bike loads. I'm still doing a 200K on the weekend, which I think's gonna kill me. Um, um, but I'm just like, yeah, I'm just not signing up for the big things at the minute and I'm think I'm okay with that.
Rhona: Yeah. I think that sounds very reasonable. And I, I think, you know, there are so many people who would listen to the numbers that you're saying and think that that's the biggest thing they could ever imagine doing. And, and so it's funny how we get used to a different normal and a- and then s- lose perspective of w- how- Yeah
much that is or what that means or... Because if we were just w- like, oh, you just wanna be healthy and happy, you could probably do half as much as what you do and be healthy. You know? So you're ch- you're doing it for something else.
Katy: Yeah. It's, yeah, it's funny and I think also there's been a bit of pressure, right?
Like, you know, doing talks and stuff and doing, you know, starting off with a big ride. Like, and then for me, I, and it's only putting pressure on myself, but I was like, "Oh, I've gotta keep this up. You know, I've gotta keep this up." And part of me was like loving it, and I was loving like, ooh, let's see how more you can push, and let's do this and let's do that.
Um, but then, the, the balance that we've always, you know, I, I really wore myself out both years. The ride around Britain wore me out, like physically and emotionally, like totally, totally got me. And then the year after that when it was so many events and talks and, and like it was really amazing, but they were back to back.
It was every weekend and it was like I sort of, it just got a bit much. I sort of got a bit worn out and then I was like not enjoying doing it and that's when I was like, "Nah, this" ... I loved doing it before. I loved sharing my story and having a purpose and stuff. So yeah, it's like, does feel like a good time to Rest.
Rhona: So tell me as well, h- so when you did cycle around Britain, what was the, h- what, h- what were your days like there? Were they really big days or-
Katy: Um, I think it, it's funny yous ask that. Actually, at the beginning, they were big days. Like, I was doing, like, 100K f- and, cycling through Cornwall and Devon was by far the hilliest.
I think it was, above 3,000 meter elevation, day after day, and I was just, cooked. Um, and I had all my g- gear and stuff. And then actually, you know, what, I think what happened was I was just like, I just wasn't, I was sort of, it was, like, an anxiety thing of, like, "I've got to get to this next place.
I've got to get to this next place," and I was just kind of, smashing these, and I w- and, I wasn't really stopping, and it was, um ... A- and what I, I, you know, I remember getting to this campsite, and I was, like, absolutely, , dead, and I was like, "Oh, I need some food, and where's the nearest place to eat?"
And they were like, "There isn't any." I was like, "Oh, I'll just order a takeaway." And they were like, "You're not, they're not gonna get here." You know, I was in the middle of Wales somewhere, and I was just like, "Oh," you know? And, like, a- and then I think something hap- Oh yeah, I got a horsefly bite that got infected.
I went to the pharmacy just to be like, "I can't get my shoe on. Like, my leg's really fat. Like, what's, you know, can you give me something?" And they said, "Oh, y- I think it's infected. I think you should go to an A&E." Went to A&E. They were like, "Yeah, you, you've got, you know, y- don't... You need to rest." They were like, "You can't just, you can't cycle."
And I was like, "What do, what do you mean? I'm doing this thing. Like, what?" Um, but it was the best thing that happened because I was just trying to smash out these days with all my kit, not really stopping properly for food. And then I, I, when I got the, told about the, told to rest and I then went into this surf shop, met this lady.
She ended up sharing her story. We had, a hug. She made me a cup of tea. I had the best chat with her. And, like, I just was like, and then my s- mind s- my mind, my mindset shifted because a lot of my ride was all about community and people and, like, meeting people and chatting and, you know, I wasn't giving any time to people.
I was like, you know, I was like, "Don't talk to me. I'm doing a thing," you know? Like, I was just like, "No time for this." And actually, that was the whole point, you know, is to spend time with people, to listen to their stories, to, you know, um, give them time. So actually, being forced to rest ma- changed the whole trip
Rhona: That's so interesting.
Super interesting. I think that it's funny how you can get so caught up in these things that I'm sure before you went, like you said, you wanted to kind of connect with people and experience people's stories, and that was what it was about more than the cycling. And yet so- once you get going, you're just head down, cycling, cycling, cycling.
So easy and so interesting how that happens. Also wonder if there's, like, a reflection here in your life right now you just, you know, were all going for it, got quite caught up in the, the events and doing the training and all this stuff, and then you said, you know, you're maybe canceling social events or whatever, and now things might have changed a little bit and this is your chance, you know, new place, new people-
Katy: That's
Rhona: so interesting
time to build some community.
Katy: Uh, yeah, maybe that's it. Maybe this is like a bigger version of the ride, and actually it's my time to... Yeah, so interesting. Never thought of it like that. But yeah, yeah. And it's, um, and if, and you know, it's very like me as well, like I'm always, I do get into that zone of like, "Go, go, go."
You know? Um, the quicker I get it, the quicker it'll get done, and it- I always have that moment, like with my mom, when I'm just like, "Hurry up, Mum," you know. And like, you know, make time for her, kind of like, you know, make time for people and, um, but yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, for propbably, what's happening in my life right now.
Rhona: And maybe also it sounds, you said it's quite tiring that you shared the same story or different versions of the same story a lot. You must have got quite tired of talking about yourself. You know, there's not that many people who actually f- really, really enjoy that. Um, but you sound like you love, you get a lot from other people.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. So this might be also that, that time for you to get more of that.
Katy: Yeah, ex- oh, I li- like it's, yeah, I love people. I love people's stories so much. You know, I was a bit worried about the ride itself 'cause I, I'm like, I love... I know it's 'cause this is gonna sound strange, but I love being positive, I love being happy, and I was doing the, the cause and my message and what I was talking about was very sad.
And that was so difficult because for so long I'd never really spoken about my dad and how he died and just, you know, it was just, l- I just didn't. It was too weird, and you didn't wanna upset people, and all this stuff. So suddenly I was like, "Yeah, let's talk about this." So that was really, like, that was so tough just to be like, "Okay, we're talking about this," you know?
Like bottling it up for so long and then being so open about it. But also, um, yeah, listening to other people's sad stories. , I met so many people who had, lost, children, partners, friends in the same way. And all I wanted to do was, like, fix it for them., I just wanted to take their pain away, and it s- it was also reliving some of the stuff I went through.
I was like, "Oh yeah, I remember that." And so it was a really strange experience because- From being a, a happy, positive person, I was like, "Oh, do, do we have to talk about this?" You know? But it actually... And it's weird, I thought, you know, I thought I was helping them, but actually they helped me massively. You know?
Like, as cheesy as that sounds, like, it was just that thing of being able to talk about it more and more sort of helped a lot.
Rhona: I think it's interesting the, um, that initial idea of a sad subject or bonding over a sad subject or talking about tough stuff is, is, is really sad. And obviously it is and it does bring up lots of sad emotions.
But, um, it's kinda, it, there's a lot of joy in doing that well, talking about it well, and connecting with the people. And if you have that connection, like, all those people had no idea you were gonna come into their life that day, talking to them about something, connect over that, and then they could, they probably went away and actually felt quite a lot better.
Even though they thought about a sad thing, I'm sure that they felt so re- they really gained something from that. It's kinda like how people say, "Oh, I couldn't work in," for example, palliative care, you know, end of life or something. People say, "Oh, it'd be so sad." And it is a terribly sad thing. It's really, really sad, but it's also a really happy and beautiful place to work because you, if you do that well and you give families b- really nice endings to life and things like that, you can make it a really nice thing.
That's it. So-
Katy: Yeah ...
Rhona: I think we, we sometimes get caught up and think we shouldn't talk about a sad thing or open that door or-
Katy: 100% ...
Rhona: you know, any of those things. But once you do, sometimes you get a lot of good out of it.
Katy: Oh, man, and that's why, that's why the, that's how the ride came about, because I was like, you know, there's got to be...
I, being outside, right, going for a walk, being outside in nature, like, it just, it's, you always feel better. And having a chat and, like, I was just like, w- it doesn't need to be, and, and it, it doesn't need to be a sad thing in a sad environment, right? I don't, we don't need to... Yes, there is definitely room for therapy, but h- being in a room, staring at someone, feeling sad, talk- you know, just talking about sad stuff- Isn't always the place.
Rhona: Y- there's other options,
Katy: and I think that was a big thing for me. It was like people are struggling, um, w- either because they're going through something themselves or because they've lost someone, they're struggling. But can we, can we make it hopeful and do it in a better environment? And that's why I was like, oh my God, like just get outside and, like, talking is so good.
But sometimes it's so difficult when you're staring at someone, you know? And it's like... And I h- oh, man, it just, oh, it was so good, just having these people next to me. And I never, you know, I didn't really know how it was gonna go, these conversations. I just said to people, "If you wanna talk about stuff, cool.
If you don't, no worries." And, like, you're just on a bike for most of the day, and eventually someone will say something. And I never pushed or anything 'cause I've d- you know, I was like, whatever they wanna, however they want this to go. And it was just the most, um, what's the word? The most Like, you, you're talking about such deep and sad stuff in such a beautiful environment, doing such a lovely thing, and it's not awkward, and it's not intense.
It was just perfect. I was like, "This is- It is-
Rhona: Yeah ... magic, isn't
Katy: it? Yeah. I was like, "This is the therapy. This is my kind of therapy," you know?
Rhona: Yeah. I believe in that so much. I believe in outdoor activities and doing them with the community that makes you feel safe is, is so amazing. And some people, they don't have any trauma or anything happen.
You don't have to have that to be part, you know, to lead these pla- spaces. But if you do have that, and you, you might find just so, so much joy and connection it there. Um, and yeah, when you're not, when you're just moving along side by side with somebody, even if you're walking or running or cycling, it's amazing the stuff that comes out, isn't it?
Mm-hmm. Um, or sometimes even it doesn't necessarily come out in that people still don't even want to talk about it, but they just say something that you know it's, it's helped. You're-
Katy: 100%, 100%. And that's what we, you know, that's why I started this cycle club when I got back from the ride. It was like a mini version of it because...
And what I loved was, all these people were joining, and I didn't really know them, and it's that thing of you're not, sometimes you're not having a deep chat with someone. Sometimes it's just, like, you're literally just talking about your bike and, but that makes you feel, you just feel better.
It's just like connection and bringing people together in community. And a lot of the times I have no idea what's going on in people's lives, but they'll say to me, like, "This has re- just helped me so much, just getting out, knowing that every Sunday we're gonna go out," you know, good people around you. So you're not always having to talk about deep stuff, but you know there's people there, you, you know, and just having a chat about your bike or the weather or whatever is just enough to, lift your spirits and yeah.
Rhona: 100%. That's kind of a lot of the thing behind this rest days concept I have is that it's not always f- some people, and I think you are probably in this camp, need physical rest days because you will burn yourself out Um, and you know, you need, uh, rest days for your brain and, and things like that. And you just need...
But some people, like, don't feel able to go out. They don't have the confidence- Mm ... or the people, or the equipment, or whatever it is, and their rest day from their really diff- their life in, that's difficult in other ways, even if that's caring responsibilities or whatever it is, their rest day is going out and moving.
Katy: Yeah.
Rhona: Or, and that's, uh, like it's a, it, to me it's both. It can be both, you know? Yeah. And, and I, and I love the idea that that can be that as well. Um, and I think what you're saying is so true. I used to run a cycling group, and occasionally somebody would, sometimes people would come along and they would just spill their whole life story, and it was really beautiful, and you were like, "Oh, that's so lovely."
Yeah. "It's, I've had a great chat. It's fantastic." Even if it was about something sad. But other times somebody would come along and they'd be a bit quiet, and you did have a nice chat with them, but you didn't think it was revolutionary, and then you'd get this message saying, "I've just been having the worst month.
I d- haven't left my house in two weeks. The only reason I came is because I'd heard somebody say it was decent, and this has changed everything for me." And you're just, it was amazing.
Katy: Yeah. No, totally. And then, then that's like, just reconfirms everything and it's so sad how much I loved that cycle group.
Like, honestly, I was just like, Sunday was my absolute favorite day, no matter, you know, rain or shine. And again, it was that thing of like, I was like, "Oh, I'm putting it on for them," you know? I was like, "No, it's, it's my favorite day of the week. I love it.", I get so much happiness from, seeing everyone and there, seeing them stoked, and it's just like, yeah.
And, um,
Rhona: it, yeah, like you said, it's just, like,
Katy: for me as well, like sometimes... So I used to ride to the, to the start, and actually that little bit of time to myself, because I'm so busy, I, I, I, I'm one of these people, I pack everything in and, but that little time to cycle to the start on my own was just quiet.
It was like the rest, you know? So, like, that thing you said about actually, you know, sometimes exercise, or should we say movement, like, is, is the rest, you know? It's that, quiet, you know. Sometimes you'll go for a walk and no one's around and it's, or a run, it quietens my brain and I get time to think and, and it's such...
I, I really enjoyed that pre and post, after meeting with everyone, like, my little rest.
Rhona: Are you quite extroverted, or are you just, are you actually introverted but just very, like, bubbly and energetic?
Katy: Hmm, that's a really good question. I think I'm quite extrovert. I'm quite a... It's weird. I feel, I always say I'm like a battery.
I've, I, I have a lot of energy, and a lot of love, and a lot of passion, but it goes quite quickly, so I need to recharge it. Like- Yeah .. And that's why I need my quiet time. I need to recharge, and it's always keeping that balance. If I have too many, social things and stuff, it gets worn out real quick, and I'm dead and tired.
And but then if I don't, um, you know, at the minute I'm quite on my own quite a lot, so I'm resting quite a lot, so I've got a lot of energy, I've got a lot to give and nowhere to put it at the minute, you know?
Rhona: Do you have the opposite problem if you spend too much time on your own?
Is that, is that a problem for you too?
Katy: Yeah, yeah. Like at the minute, yeah, I think at the moment I spend a lot of time on my own, so I feel a bit like a wound up, uh,, toy. I'm just, raring to meet people, and that's why probably on this chat I'm like,, "Yeah, somebody to talk to you," and probably very elevated, um, because I'm sort of like, it's all there, and it's building, and I'm just like...
So when I do go to stuff in the evenings where, like, 'cause I haven't seen anyone all day, I'm, quite intense.
Rhona: That's interesting, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, I feel like I accidentally end up talking about people's careers and giving career advice on this podcast too much, but- Right ... yeah, maybe you need a job where you see people, you know-
Katy: I-
maybe ... 100% do. I, I don't know what it is. I don't know what the, the, the job is, but I know, you know, 'cause people have said to me, "Have you thought about being a counselor?" And I'm just like, "Oh, I don't, I don't know about that." But, like, I just love people. I love people's stories. I love talking to people. I just...
Something, who knows? I don't know.
Rhona: There's definitely, definitely lots of things that- Yeah ... that you, you'll be able to enjoy, I'm sure. And especially if you have a, a good skill set, that sounds like you do, if you already work, you know, and you're doing marketing stuff, you- I'm sure there's stuff that you would be able to do.
Katy: Yeah.
Rhona: Sometimes even it's just that the job needs to be in person, I guess, is so. You know, like, I have a friend who's, seems similar vibes to you, and she's been working from home for a few years, and it's just, like, always kind of gone in these cycles of- Mm ... her feeling a bit fed up with it. And, um- Sure, sure
now she's gonna go and work in person, and I th- it's the same job. There's nothing- Oh, really? ... else gonna change, but she's- Oh ... gonna do the same job in person. I'm like, "Yes, this is what you need." Yeah. Just needs, like, office mates, you know?
Katy: Yeah, that's exactly, that's this. I just, I just, like, I seem to ener- I seem to get more energy off of people, you know?
And I chat to someone, and at the end of the day, I leave with my cup full because I've been chatting to people all day. And I know that some people, I, I listen to a podcast about this, and some people said they wake up and they need their cup filled, or I s- think I s- like, at the end of the day, my cup's fuller from chatting, chatting to people and stuff, 'cause I'm just like, I just get a lot of energy from people.
Um, so yeah, I think, I think I, you know, I j- I can't quite pinpoint what that is, 'cause my job is very, very, um, desk-based. Um- Yeah ... but hopefully, maybe there's something around the corner, and that's been something I've just been put on pause really, 'cause I'm like, "Oh, that's too much" right now.
Rhona: Yeah, that's fair.
Katy: Little too big for my brain. Um, but I think it's... And it's also, again, it's that fear of fa- failure. Like, I've applied for quite a lot of jobs, you know, um, in the cycling community world, and didn't even get an interview, and it kinda knocks your confidence. Then you just don't try, and it's like, yeah, you need, I need to get back on that horse a bit.
Rhona: Yeah, that is very tricky. Um, and it's sometimes just hard to know why that didn't go well. You know, like, what, w- w- 'cause I, I think a lot of the time it's, it's nothing to do with you. It was just already pre-decided or something.
Katy: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Um, so but that, that'll be another challenge. Another day.
Yeah.
Rhona: Yeah, we'll try not to make it this whole thing about, um, finding your, your dream career.
Katy: Yeah.
Rhona: Um, so tell, t- s- uh, do, do you mind elaborating a little bit more on what it was that motivated you to do the cycle-
Katy: Of course, yeah ... around
Rhona: the, around Britain?
Katy: Yeah, of course. I'm really happy to talk about that.
So, um, when I was 16, I lost my dad to suicide, and even saying it now, like, it always makes me feel weird, right? And it's more actually not that it upsets me, but I feel uncomfortable telling people. Um, so there's so much around it of, like, you know, as soon as I say it, I don't want people to think my dad was a certain, you know, like, person.
Yes, he was sad, obviously, but that wasn't his whole identity, and it's such a difficult thing. Um, you know, I was 16. I was the oldest. I've got two siblings. Like, you know, we were just, like, m- just you couldn't cope, and life was so meaningless as well. I was like, "I don't wanna go to school. I don't wanna do this thing."
You know, everything just felt so... Uh, my whole world got absolutely tipped upside down. And, um, I think as a f- like, I, I didn't know anyone else that had been through that, so we just kinda cracked on as a family, and it was hard to talk about. Like, a lot of people in my family, everyone grieves differently.
Some people just couldn't talk about it, um, so you just don't. Um, and then I think I just wanted to do something. I was like, "I just need to do something. I need to, um, talk about it." And I think, mm, also for myself, I actually joined someone on a bike ride. Um, he was riding a tandem, and, um, he'd lost his sister to suicide, and it was the first time that I had opened up about it.
And I just c- I can't even tell you how good I felt. Like, I felt euphoric. Like, I felt, like, eh, completely... . i crashed the next day, but, like, I felt quite woo, you know. But I had the most beautiful conversations, and I just was like, "There is something in this." I'm, like, outside. It's not awkward.
You know, it's, it's, there's hope and there's sadness, but there's, it's, it didn't seem so It didn't seem so heavy. And I just was like, "This is amazing." And I, and I just was like, there's something in this and I wanna keep promoting getting outside. There's quite a lot with the m- I was very angry with the mental health system, and I felt like there's still issues.
Um, there's lots of waiting lists, right? Yeah, exactly. There's, like, big waiting lists and stuff like that. But I was like, maybe, maybe I can just show people other ways, right? Get outside. And, and I c- and I called it, I kept saying, I didn't wanna keep saying sport. I keep, I kept saying, like, movement. I was like, yeah, get outside and move, 'cause I just wanted to advocate for, like, getting outside and talking, like, we'll get, get in for a dip.
I wanted people to join me for a dip if they didn't wanna cycle. And yeah, it was incredible, um, for me to be able to talk about it, but then meet other people who'd gone through the same thing. I'd never met so many people who'd gone through a similar thing and, but also people who had lost, yeah, people who had lost people, but also people that were also going through it themselves.
Like, I met a guy, um, he attempted to take his life three times and, like, you know, the conversation that I had with him was like But, uh, just, uh, crazy, you know? Like, just from his, listening to his point of view and him listening to mine and, um, yeah, it was, it was, it was crazy and beautiful.
Rhona: Yeah. I mean, it's amazing that you took something so hard that happened to you and made it into such a, such an s- you went out and you were like, "Well, this has been hard for me, and I don't want it to be this hard for other people."
Mm. And I think that's just, you know, says a lot about you- For sure ... is, for sure. Um, but I, I think that's also really interesting, and I think it's super important that you mentioned about how, when you say it, you have this c- really complicated mixture of emotions- Mm ... because you d- like, I guess, worried you might upset the person you're telling- Yeah
or that, yeah, they might have judgments, or you've, like, r- lowered the tone or ruined the conversation or-
Katy: Mm-hmm ...
Rhona: like, that is so much for you to carry- Mm ... to just say this basically fact, although a very sad one- Yeah ... that ha- happened to you and has complete- and changed the course of your life. Um, I'm so sorry that that's what you have to carry.
And, and but I, I think that that's really good that you tell people that because I think we can all hopefully, you know, think about the way that we react-
Katy: Yeah ...
Rhona: to the news that people give us- Yeah ... so that we kind of reassure people that we're glad they told us.
Katy: Yeah.
Rhona: You know? Yeah. And I think- Thanks for sharing, that kind of thing.
Katy: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's still hard, and it's still weird, and it's like there's so many complexities with it. Uh, but I think that's why the, the ride was so important because it was like a green light to be like... 'Cause I think people also don't wanna ask me questions sometimes 'cause they don't wanna upset me.
They don't wanna bring the tone down with me, so it happens both ways. You know, I don't wanna have a conversation. I, I'm really happy to talk about my dad, and I'm really, um, happy to talk about the hard things. But you never know what, if someone else is happy for you to talk about that. So it's like a weird...
But that's why the, to do talks, you know, like, I'm doing a talk about this, and it, I really want happy for people. So I had lots of, quite a lot of Q&As at talks 'cause I think it's that green light of like, it's okay. And, um, the same with, like, podcasts and the same with, like, um, yeah, the ride itself. It's such a lovely way for me to talk about it and, and know that it's a two-way thing.
Like, I'm okay to talk about it. You're okay to talk about it. But I think that's a big thing that I wanna advocate for, is like, you know, trying to make that, you know- It's such a difficult subject, but yet keep talking about it. You know, there was a big taboo about not asking someone if they are feeling suicidal.
And actually, y- you know, there was a big myth that if you ask someone, you're putting the thought in their head, and it's not. That's actually, you're relieving the pressure off of them if you ask. And if they're not, they're not. But if they are, you've taken, y- you're, you're helping. So yeah, keep talking about it
Rhona: Yeah, 100%.
Um, how do you, how, well, especially on your ride, but when, even when you're having difficult conversations, you know, um, and when you're running a cycling group, if people kinda put stuff onto you, how did you manage that?
Um, what do you do? Do, are you just, like, you just have enough positivity to take everybody's, problems on your shoulders?
Katy: No, no, not at all. In fact, there were some very grumpy days, and actually, those were the days where I needed to be on my own. You know? So actually, I tried to factor in days, and it would happen quite naturally.
Sometimes I would have, like, quite a lot of people that I was riding with, and, and sometimes I'd be on my l- uh, uh, my own for quite a bit. So it all worked out quite well, 'cause it seemed to be when I was on my own was in those really quiet, like, in the sticks, you know, in, in kind of North Scotland. And actually, that's when I really needed to just be on my own and, like, have a cry, and like, you know.
Actually, having a cry was the best thing. Just, like, crying out loud, just surrounded by sheep, was just, like, really therapeutic and lovely. But, um, for me, writing stuff down's really helped. I have a lot, I had a lot of feelings and anger. I had so much anger. Um, so I found writing stuff down really, really helped.
Um, and yeah, taking rest days, right? Like, the rest days, the days I was on my own were, were really needed. Um, and, um, I think also, there's, um, so many schemes and, um, amazing, like, um, mental health.
So I became a mental health, um, practitioner. I did this thing called the Orange Button Scheme, which, um, paid for me to do this, um, mental health first aid course called Assist. And it was amazing. Like, it was, like, very, very, very knowledgeable, very interesting. It was quite hard, obviously. But I had a little orange button which meant, you know, I can talk to you.
Like, I'm a mental health practitioner, and I really recommend, like, every business or company should do it. Um,
Rhona: it's that help- Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. That's a really good thing to know about. Yeah. Especially to know that you could get it, uh- Like, I guess get it funded, get- Yeah ... you know, get the training.
That's really cool.
Katy: Yeah.
Rhona: Really think that's amazing thing to know about. Exactly. You have to tell people about that.
Katy: Yes. Yes, exactly. But that helps a lot 'cause it felt I needed to, I really wanted to do something like that just in case, you know, for myself or for anybody else. And like, I'm so glad I did it for, for the ride, but also for outside the ride, and like I just feel a little bit more like I've got a toolkit.
Mm.
Rhona: Mm-hmm.
Katy: Yeah.
Rhona: Yeah. What stuff is in that toolkit to help you look after yourself?
Katy: Oh, for, to look after myself? I say that-
Rhona: Yeah, because to, to protect you for, you know- Interesting ... if, if people come to you with stuff. Or did, or did they not cover that so much?
Katy: Uh, they, they, they didn't cover that so much.
Yeah. But it was very much like, um, you know, it's, I think it's quite a common thing with first aid is like you've, we've gotta, always gotta protect yourself. You know, if
Rhona: you're- Yeah ...
Katy: a stranger, like you've gotta protect yourself. So it's always like making sure that there's no drugs, alcohol, or anything sh- you know, those kind of things.
So it's always like looking out for you first. Because if you're not okay, you can't help someone else, right? That's always the thing in my lifesaving, right, and, you know, from, um, working in that industry. So I think for me, you know, I'm always trying to think about that. If I see someone in need and I wanna help, like I can't help everybody.
I find that, um, difficult sometimes if someone's going through something. Um, but, but like I'm not able, but some- it's that thing of always looking after yourself first- Yeah ... or making sure you're okay, 'cause if you haven't got enough in the tank to give someone,
Rhona: yeah. I think that's a very good point that, that, um, you see, especially if you're a very empathetic person, which I think you are, and if you're somebody who really cares about others and cares a lot about your friends- Mm ... it can be really hard to say, "I'm sorry, today I can't." Um, it's, that is one of the hardest conversations to have I think and, and ties into rest days a lot because if that is gonna tip you over the edge into your own spiral or burnout or whatever it is- Mm
is that, you know, it surely is better to say no, but how do you say it?
Katy: Oh. Oh my goodness. I think Some stuff would really, really get to me, like, and I'd be so sad, and I couldn't, you know, and, and that was, that was a really big issue for me on the ride, was like, I can't help everyone.
Like, I can't. Yeah. And I want to, and I can't. Or, or like, sometimes I'd be too s- too sad myself or, you know. And I think, I think the ride was good because it happened a lot later after my dad died, so I think I was a lot more sort of resilient in lots of ways. Um, so stuff wasn't triggering me as much. Um, but I think, you know, I think also signposting people I found is really helpful.
Like, if I can't... I don't have all the answers, and I think also listening. So I'm a big talker, and I wanna solve everything, and I wanna help everyone. But sometimes I realize quite early on, just listen, you know? You don't have to solve everything. Like, some people just wanna... Like, just let them talk. So that was something, I don't always have to do anything, just, just listen.
And also signposting people. If I haven't got the capacity or the tools, then, then not leaving them dry, but just being like, "Hey, look, here's some, here's some, some like toolkits that could help you. This, this could help you." Signpost people, I think.
Rhona: Yeah.
Katy: Yeah.
Rhona: You can't fix it. Uh, I'm all... Es- especially in the situation you were in, on a bike ride, you can't fix it.
People are really complex, and, every single person has their... I say to everybody, everybody gets their thing. And I, you don't know what it's gonna be. You know, it could be a cancer, it could be a mental health thing, it could be something really small. It could, you know, it could be IBS that's bugged them- Yeah
and you fart all the time. Yeah. It's rubbish, right? But that's, that could be a thing, you know?
Katy: Yeah.
Rhona: And, and you just don't know what it's gonna be, so we've just got y- well, we can't fix each other's. And I think that what you said is so nice, is like, but you can listen.
Katy: Yeah, exactly.
You can, you can listen, and you, you know, sometimes you might have more in the tank, and you'll be able to give some great feedback, and you'll be able to have some words of wisdom. And sometimes you might not be able to, and you can just tell people, like, "I'm not, I'm not, I'm not at capacity at the minute, but I'll listen."
You know? Or, um, yeah, and it's still, we're work in progress, aren't we? Like, bloody hell, like none of us have it figured out, and I think it's pretty okay to say that., I'm like, "I don't know." You know? I think that's the thing. I always felt like I had to have the answers, you know, and I was just like, "I don't, I don't know."
You know? I, I can just tell people what's worked for me, and I'm trial and error all the time. Like, I'm like, you know, think you've got it nailed, and then you're like, "Oh, no." So it's just like- Yeah ... yeah.
Rhona: No, there isn't an answer for most of the questions anyway. Um, so I think that that's re- that's sometimes important as well, is like not to be searching for the answer.
Yeah. Not to feel bad if you don't have it. Yeah. 'Cause it doesn't exist probably.
Katy: Yeah. That's lovely.
Rhona: Yeah. Exactly. I don't know. Some people find that depressing. Yeah. And so it's not that, yes. Well, um, what things do you like to do to relax?
Katy: I don't do this that often, and it's something I'm not very good at, but I really... And it's something I have to give time for. You can't, I can't... Most stuff I kind of manage to shoehorn in, and I can do it quite quickly. I can bake a cake in, 20 minutes, you know? And I'm, done, and I can shoehorn stuff in.
But what I love doing that really calms me is craft. I love, um, doing, like little lino printing, and I love pottery, and I love jew- I used to love jewelry-making. And, I'm not very good at any of it, but I love, I love doing it. So for my ride around the UK afterwards, I did this little lino print of a bike, and I send little thank yous to everybody, and it, it looks like a child's done it.
It's terrible. But I had so much joy in just being so q- And I lose track of time, which is, you know, um, so lovely to be able to do something where you lose track of time. So yeah, lino, pottery, just, like, getting lost in it by... And, like, um, punch needling as well. But I really have to be,, on my own. I don't want anyone else around me.
And I want an afternoon where I've got nothing else planned. Um
Rhona: I love that. I think it's really good as an adult to have a pointless thing that you do that you're not good at. Yep,
Katy: exactly.
Rhona: It's a really, it's a really great skill- Yep ... to be able to do that.
Katy: Yeah, definitely. And, , I love cooking and eating.
I don't know if it's very relaxing sometimes, but I do love like, "Oh, I wonder what this cake will taste like. I wonder if I can make a coffee cake." It's like, it- uh, but, and again, it's that thing of like I do, kinda get lost in it a little bit, you know? Sometimes I'm like, "Oh, I need to make a cake for a friend's birthday," then sort of hours go by and I'm like, "Now I'm late for the birthday party," you know?
Um, but I do weirdly like baking. Um, and I know a little bit like we said earlier, but, um, s- some- sometimes I can do... So exercise, right?, Sometimes I go out and I just wanna, like, I'm g- with my mates, we're having a laugh, and it is not peaceful, and it's not calm. We're just smashing it out, and it's, you know.
But sometimes I just need to get out, and I need to get out of the house, and I need quiet, and I just wanna be like... And it could be running, it could be swimming. You know, most of the time it is cycling, and it's just, like, in the mornings is my favorite. So getting on the bike in the mornings, I just love it 'cause I feel like I'm awake before anyone else.
S- every th- and it's still misty, and it's, uh, I can sort of think about the day, think about stuff that's happened. It's just like a bit of a secret. It feels like a little bit of a secret, uh, time for me, and I really, that's my rest as well.
Rhona: Yeah. I mean, that's a good set of stuff. I love that.
Right. I think that,
Katy: that...
Rhona: Yeah. I think I, I'm really excited to see what happens for you over the next year, um, and see, you know, um, yeah, may- maybe there'll be career changes. Maybe you'll have a whole new cycling community. Um, and I'm sure that you'll probably not last that long before you give yourself some crazy challenge.
Katy: I, I, I agree, but I'm sort of just, like, trying to just see how this goes. Hold
Rhona: on.
Katy: Hold, like- Yeah. Do it ... hold on. There's part of me that's just like, "Oh, I wanna do something," but I'm like, like, let's just lean into it. The rest, you know? Just.
Rhona: Yeah. The more comfortable you become with it, I think as well, the easier it is to go back to as well.
Yeah. Um, so it can become a healthy habit again, rather than a weird thing that suddenly appeared and you didn't know what to do with.
Katy: Yeah, yeah,
Rhona: yeah, yeah.
Katy: But TBC. But no, I've given myself a year off to just be and just see how things pan out. And so, yeah, TBC.
Rhona: Love that. Oh, thanks so much, Katie. Yeah. Um, that's been such a great chat.
I think, I mean, I think people will get a lot from that. Anybody who's heard you speak before will know that you've got so much, so many valuable things to say. And it's just, you're really, really lovely energy. It's so nice. You're just- Oh ... so, so enjoyable to
Katy: talk to. Oh, it was so lovely to speak to you.
And I think also just
Rhona: it's
Katy: given me a lot, because I don't have an office to chat to people, so just having a really, really lovely chat at the end of the day is just, like, absolutely. I'm, like, buzzing. So thank you so much, and what, what a c- yeah, what a great chat.
Rhona: What a wonderful human being Katie is. Honestly, that felt like chatting to an old friend. I hope you got the same vibes listening. Katie's honesty, empathy, and genuine love of human stories was so refreshing. I love how she found movement and sharing stories healing, so then decided to share this with everyone.
We need more Katies in the world. Katie is running a cycling event in October this year to raise money for Mind. You can find the details by looking up Saddle2Sea. This is also her Instagram handle. I'm sure a few people listening might be keen to get involved. If you're inspired by Katie and wondering about becoming a mental health first aider, have a look at Orange Button Scheme that she mentioned in the episode.
Finally, if you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, please talk to someone. If you don't know who to ask, you can always ask your GP. Thanks for listening to today's episode. If you wanna hear more from Rest Days, you can find us at restdayscommunity on Instagram, or find us at restdayscommunity.com.
See you next week